haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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