You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
