why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
