Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just pee around me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
