people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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