No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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