i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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