you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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