Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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