Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
