When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
