Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
