my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
