i just google imaged poop.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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