i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
