Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
