so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
