I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
