Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
