Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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