Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize