my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think people are normalizing furries
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
