You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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