why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
