So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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