Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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