He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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