I can tuck mytits in my pants
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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