Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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