needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
