I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
