I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
