she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
