Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
