none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
