Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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