.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
