Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
