Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
