I must be too annoying 4 u.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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