i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
