it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
