He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize