I just saw a hot homeless man
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
