I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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