u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
