u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
