She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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