you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize