I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
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