You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
