The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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