I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
