Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
