similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
