so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
