I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
