just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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