And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize