I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize