No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
