I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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