Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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