i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize