Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think I sprained my soul last night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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