and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
