I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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