I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
