Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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