I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Even my vagina gasped.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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