these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
