I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
