If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
