we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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