How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize