She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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