She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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