I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I could make wine with my vomit
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
