alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
