Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pappa wants mamma naked
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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