you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
